It’s been a tough week for Wildcat quarterback Dan Persa. First, he found out that the Kohl’s “Buy 1 Get 1 Free” sale didn’t apply to the boy’s 8-12 section. Then this:

EVANSTON, IL - A terminally ill child at Evanston Hospital is upset after Northwestern quarterback Dan Persa dropped in for a visit. The Heisman hopeful is dropping in uninvited on local sick youth as part of his “FORCED PR STUNT” initiative. But 6-year-old Timmy Sanders, who is battling stage four lung cancer, was less than thrilled to see the senior quarterback.

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Now that Evan has officially declared for the 2012 NFL Draft in advance of the 2011 college football season, we'll have regular check-ins on his draft status while the event draws closer. ESPN draft guru Mel Kiper is the preeminent authority on this whole thing, unless you are to believe the other 692 guys with blogs who create a weekly mock draft in lieu of masturbation. Let's take a look at Kiper's prospect rankings...

Please note, we do not actually have an ESPN Insider account so these just what we assume Mel Kiper's rankings look like:

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After months of preparation, EffYeahEvanWatkins.com today launched "WatkinsTall," an awareness campaign to promote Northwestern quarterback and future #2 overall selection in the NFL Draft after Todd McShay seriously overvalues some defensive end from the SEC, Evan Watkins.

Watkins entered this season as the presumed starting QB in the eyes of many* but recent news reports out of Big Ten Media Days have the Wildcat coaching staff graciously giving out the "official" role of starter to some crippled midget kid from Pennsylvania as part of the Make-A-Wish Foundation's controversial "Screw It, Let's Get Dangerous" initiative.

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It's been just over eight months since that fateful day in late November...when the entire world lost consciousness for approximately two months right before kickoff of the Wrigley game between Northwestern and Illinois. We have no way of knowing what might have transpired between November 20 and January 2, the day after the New Year's bowl games when we all miraculously woke up, but Ohio State vacated some wins and Cam Newton still remains at large or something.

Nobody heard much from "The Legendary" Evan Watkins, after That Thing That Happened That Was Kind Of Like The Show Charlie From "LOST" Was On Before It Got Cancelled And He Showed Up On "LOST" A Few More Times To Remind Us Why We Hated Charlie. That's not for lack of activity, though; our hero has had a productive summer.

We recently caught up with Evan by culling hours of security footage and debriefing a nationwide team of private investigators. You know, fan stuff.

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Evan Watkins is a humble, complicated man, so when he sits down for a press conference, a lot of fans might not catch the hidden meanings and complicated subtleties of his speech.  Luckily, our extensive experience as Watkinsologists makes us supremely qualified to deliver a a translation of what Evan is really trying to say.   Let's take a look at this week's pre-Wrigley press conference to unlock the real message of his words: On how he slept Saturday night knowing he w...

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The Watkins News Network is your only source for Northwestern and world news within the context of how it affects the livelihood, mood and sleep patterns of Evan Watkins. The story: The east end zone is right up against the right field wall at Wrigley. We know that when this game first got announced, everyone thought the same thing: "Northwestern against Illinois? Dear God, are the end zones safe?!"  Definitely top priority.  While it's pretty clear that NU would have played this...

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While Watkinsmania is beginning to take over this week, we are aware many of you are still concerned about Evan Watkins' ability to lead NU past a group of Big Ten bottom-dwellers on a grand stage – a ridiculous concern to have about a nine-time effyeahevanwatkins.com player of the week award winner. But, in an effort to ease your mind, we have done a bit more research into the history of our humble hero and found more evidence for his impending success. A quick glance at Watkins' medical history (which may or may not have been obtained illegally) reveals the following:

Evan Watkins suffers from Jack Shephard's disease.

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Chicago: Meet your new hero.

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This weekend, the City of Evanston and Northwestern try to show Israel and Palestine how to get things done when they come together for "Evanston Day" before, after and during the 'Cats game against Central Michigan. Festivities surrounding the campaign to "Paint Evanston Purple" include public vandalism (obv.), a pep rally, $5 off your bill at Chili's and, in the true spirit of Evanston Day, a group call to the police to file a noise complaint against said pep rally. THE WATKINS PERSPECTIVE...

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A chill went down our spine upon hearing that former quarterback Brett Basanez has been returning to campus to work with Dan Persa. At first, we were shocked that he was available, because we heard that the Chicago Rush were looking for someone who can force a throw into coverage for a crushing interception near the end of the half. Guess that was just a rumor.

Sadly, Basanez's return to NU as a "mentor" is hard truth:

"Danny's such a good kid; he responds to what you're telling him," Basanez said. "The sky's the limit."

Basanez, NU's all-time leader in passing yards and the 2005 Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year, began working out with Persa and Mike Kafka before the 2009 season. He'd been signed by the Bears after a stint in Carolina and wanted some throwing partners.

"Had to work out somewhere," he said.

If that last line doesn't make you heart swell with pride over Brett's incredible sense of school loyalty, then by God there might be hope for you yet on this desolate landscape we call existence.

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